


Breathe

by Imworriedsomeonesgoingtofindthisaccount



Category: Preacher (TV)
Genre: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, I repeat, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Suicide Attempt, there is a dead dove in this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:42:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22232728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imworriedsomeonesgoingtofindthisaccount/pseuds/Imworriedsomeonesgoingtofindthisaccount
Summary: "We found the... skin. Lil Jesse here's gotta get his ass kicked," Jody announces, like he's not glad about it, but regards it his duty anyway."And-" T.C pipes up-"And..." Jody interrupts, rolling his eyes. "T.C. wants what T.C. wants.""And what the fuck is that?" Tulip asks, hand on a cocked hip.----Jesse Custer was abused by T.C is pretty much what this is
Relationships: Jesse Custer/T.C.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> nothing's explicitly described here. i promise if i had both the writing ability and the energy to actually translate the sick inner workings of my mind's fantasies into a readable word document i would, but i don't, so i cant and therefore i wont.

"You, re-remember, right?" TC coughs eagerly.

Tulip watches silently from the doorway, watches TC wring his hands in excitement, watches the muscle in Jesse's jaw jump erratically. She never seen him quite like this before. She's seen him... scared before, for sure. Seen him anxious even. Seen him disgusted. Angry. Livid. But... not this.

She peers at the scene before her, trying to suss out just what the fuck's going on.

"I remember." Jesse rumbles, crossing his arms and settin' his stance. T.C doesn't seem discouraged by the patented Jesse Custer crazy glare at all, just nods frantically in his usual erratic way.

"Ev-Every Thursday night. Remember?"

Tulip frowns. Of course he wasn't scared by the 'tude Jesse was putting on. It was an act. And a flimsy one at that. It's slipping little by little, slowly revealing a not-just-scared Custer. A scared-shitless Custer.

"What are you getting at?" Jesse growls, low and threatening.

"You been here at least a week now-"

"And I'm not a little kid anymore," He interrupts, baring his teeth. "Bring this up again, and I _will-_." Jesse cuts himself off abruptly. T.C falls silent and his twitchy gaze follows Jesse as he strolls over to the sink, grabs the edge of it and lean as if trying to admire properly the view from the window. Then he picks up a glass, rolls it in his hand a couple of times and throws it hard and furious at the wall behind him, shattering beside T.C's head.

Tulip almost God-damn jumps.

Jesse quickly strides the four steps to T.C and hisses loud enough for Tulip to hear. "Don't, piss me off like that again." He snatches a knife from the table top, before freezing and seeming to think better of it, letting it clatter back onto the table. "Don't, T.C. Let's just... Let's just get along

He begins to walk quickly towards the corridor, startling when he sees Tulip, standing in his way. He looks like a goddamn deer caught in headlight.

"Hey there, Tulip," he quips and walks past her in such a fuckin' hurry he could be mistaken for a bat out of hell.

"Uhm," She hums loudly, easily keeping up. "What was that about?"

"What was what about."

It's not a question. He turns sharply into a restroom and shuts the door behind him.

 _Well_ , Tulip thinks indignantly.

~~~~~~~~

It's not until weeks later, when her blood is boiling, and oh boy her knuckles are tingling, itching for a fight when she looks to her right, her partner and he's got that look on his face, the one she only saw once before. Scared. 

Scared-shitless. 

It's not until then that she thinks back to that conversation he had with T.C.

She straightens up from her boxing stance and turns to face her boyfriend entirely. "Jesse Custer, what is wrong with you?"

She turns to the two goons, T.C brandishing a baseball bat and syringe and Jody standing tall, his usual gorilla-shit self. "What's wrong with him?" Tulip demands. Jody's nostrils flare.

"We found the... skin. Lil Jesse here's gotta get his ass kicked," he announces, like he's not glad about but regards it his duty.

"And-" T.C pipes up, "And..." Jody interrupts, rolling his eyes. "And T.C. wants what T.C. wants."

"And what the fuck is that?" Tulip asks, hand on a cocked hip.

A vase soars from behind her in a graceful arc and collides violently with Jody's face just as he's about to answer. Tulip grins. "You over whatever boo-hoo baby bullshit that was?"

"Damn right," he grunts.

~~~~~~

They lose. It's not surprising - it's expected even. But Jesse and Tulip are not Jesse and Tulip if for whatever reason they're not fighting. If not among themselves, then other damn people.

 _People_ , Tulip mentally scoffs as she staggers dazedly before the massive behemoth named Jody. He grabs her by her underarm and lifts her a clean two feet off the floor. "Give up?" He asks.

She spits a great gob of blood and saliva onto his cheek.

"T.C she's not gonna give up. Subdue her for me?"

Jesse struggles from across the room, what looks like a broken foot and probably some irreparable damage to his ribs not stopping him from looking around for something to maim someone with on her behalf. Tulip's heart flutters.

Then she feels a prick in her neck, and suddenly every joint in her body locks up, every muscle freezes. Jesse roars with outrage and rushes the ape still holding her by her lapels and by some extraordinary feat jumps onto his back, strangling Jody into a headlock. Tulip clatters to the floor, back against the sofa and unable to move, to defend her boyfriend. Jody pries Jesse's arms off of him and throws him to the ground. In less than a second, Jesse is back on his feet, grabs the gun from Jody's holster and backs up quickly, pointing the muzzle right at, at both of them.

You go, Jesse, she screams inwardly and with all the energy she can muster. She watches Jesse's chest heave as he tries to aim properly, restricted by his busted ribs. He pulls the trigger anyway, and misses by a mile. She wills his aim to steady. To be honest, she had never expected Jesse to ever fight Jody with a gun, being that there was some weird sort of code of honour between the two, but clearly that's out of the window today.

"Calm down, Jesse," Jody sighs. Her boyfriend's eyes flicker wildly between the two, and _there's_ that look again. "You know we have to-"

"Y-You escaped the vampire." T.C interjects. "You deserve an ass kickin'. A punishment. Gran'ma says so."

"Shut up!" Jesse screams hoarsely, pointing the gun on T.C. "I _know_ what _you_ fuckin' want! Don't come _near_ me with that syringe or I swear to God I will shoot you right in the chest, you creepy, greasy-lookin' little shit!"

Jody holds his hands up placatingly. He takes a step forward.

"And you! Don't think I fucking won't!" He jerks the gun in Jody's direction. Then back to T.C.

"Jesse..." Jody tries gently. "I'm not saying don't, but if you hurt us like that... You know gran'ma will..." He glances quickly down at Tulip. "I don't know what, but she'll probably do something." Tulip's eyes roll towards Jesse who catches her gaze then quickly looks away. His breathing has gotten heavier, and he looks like a trapped mouse, hands trembling.

"I won't..." He mutters, almost as if to himself. "I wont-" He presses the gun underneath his chin. "I won't fucking let you."

Tulips heart seizes.

He pulls the trigger.

Nothing happens.

_Click. Click. Click._

Tulip exhales softly through her nose.

What the fuck?! she tries to yell, pointlessly. Why the fuck?

Taking advantage of Jesse's shock, Jody somehow manages to quickly move hulking body of his right in front of Jesse, and wrenches the gun from his hand, throwing it across the room and restrains him harmlessly in an armlock. T.C. approaches with the syringe.

Jesse struggles and twists and screams, kicking the needle from T.C.'s hand once he's in range. As T.C goes to fetch it, Jesse begins to beg.

"Let me go, Jody." Jody is silent.

"Please, for fucks sake, late me go! I'm not fucking thirteen anymore, please, please, just let that shit stay in the past. Please. Jody, I know you didn't like it. I know. So please, just let me go."

T.C picks up the syringe and hobbles over in his usual deferential way. 

"Don't let him." Jesse's voice breaks, and just that unfamiliar sound is enough for Tulip's eyes to water over for him, even if she doesn't exactly know what's going on. "Don't let him," his voice rises and his thrashing resumes anew. He tries to kick out again, and T.C dodges this time, deceptively agile.

"Don't let-"

The needle pierces through the material of his suit and the hard muscle of his shoulder, and Jesse's scream is cut short. Jody lowers him gently to the floor. His head lolls to the side and their eyes meet, barely five feet from her, and yeah, there's desperation and that terror. His look reminds him of twenty-years-ago Jesse. But there's among all that, there's something much newer there. Sh-

Shame, maybe.

Ten seconds later, as Jody's heavy footsteps thud away from the room, and T.C bends over his prone body, she understands why.

T.C., muttering to himself all the while, starts off with removing the white thing that she'd never bothered to learn what it was called from Jesse's uniform. Jesse's unable to blink, close his eyes, or look away, so he stares at her as T.C. unbuttons Jesse's dark black shirt, even darker with blood. She cries. She cries hot non-stop tears for him, that burn her face and fall impotently onto the hardwood.

Jesse's eye's remain curiously dry but still so painfully _embarrased_ , pitiful, as they watch each other and they watch T.C patiently fold his shirt. From this distance she can see the gooseflesh prickling on his skin from close contact with the floor, and she tries to focus on that instead of the sound of metal buckles and zips. Her concentration fails when his entire body jerks with the force of T.C's tugs on his pants.

"Oops, sorry 'bout that," T.C. mutters in his usual slow way, neatly putting away Jesse's pants on top of his shirt. "Not ripped though. But almost. I can sew anyway." 

The heavy thuds of his footsteps alerts her of Jody's presence before his voice does.

"Jesus fuckin' Christ, T.C.," he says in an almost despairing manner above her. She's lifted roughly from the ground and sat carelessly onto the sofa where she proceeds to slide down until awkwardly splayed. "You trying to rape him in front of his girlfriend? You sick or something?"

"W-whoa, I forgot. Completely forgot she was there. My bad."

"Fucking right. Take your bullshit elsewhere, T.C."

She can't see her boyfriend anymore except his legs, which are grabbed by T.C who begins to pull him backwards towards the corridor. More and more of him comes into view, naked except for his underwear, paralysed except for his eyes which are now rolling in their sockets darting anywhere and to anything in pure animalistic terror, and she tries. She tries to force her finger to twitch, to blink her eyes, to whimper, _anything_. Fucking anything, to not feel so damn helpless. Hopeless. 

His hand is the last of him to disappear from her sight, down the hallway.

She doesn't do anything but breathe.

**Author's Note:**

> this has been checked by myself, and there's still so many mistakes that i just, i cant. if i told you that english was my first language, would you believe me? honestly, when i write shit, i think im such a genius until i reread it. whatever, im putting it out for public consumption anyway, fuckin try and stop me


End file.
